thinking about anger, love and revolution today.
and because we always seem to talk about how americans can’t wrap our little brains around providing health care or other public services to our citizens.
lots of feelings. lots of anger. but still lots of love for friends and family and wishing i/we could solve some big problems.
and i think that connects to the kind of world-saving we’re trying to do lately. “WE” as in all of us, even if that’s not really a fair statement.
i’m a guy who believes in big structural problems and still believes in talking about those problems and how they hurt each of us. and other problems too, because love and friendship matter and they break our hearts and turn us inside out even when we should be worrying about bigger harder things like how are we going to pay the bills? or take time off and enjoy life with your loved ones.
but maybe the thing i still miss and liked best about the occupy movement is that on a very practical basis it said “how can we help right now" as well as how can we change the system entirely. it said here is food, if you are hungry you can eat. here is a health tent, if you need something you can have it. here is a place to sleep and it might not be the most comfortable but you are not alone. here is a way we can get through this time and maybe inject some fucking joy and love back into our lives that are so lonely sometimes.
and so yes, yes my politics are about love. first. anger second.
that’s the difference between me and my conservative friends, i think. they love each other and they even love me. for example they perhaps even have much love for their gay family and our gay friends, or another example, love the people who works for them, undocumented even. but they don’t apply that to politics. they don’t think: we love them. so maybe those people in some fucking detention center, those people being deported and separated from their families, children and friends, that those people are just like them. they don’t think, my friend or family member who is queer and we love them and support his or her relationship BUT maybe when we support politicians who don’t then we are doing violence to her or him anyway.
they don’t try to make that love bigger than it is.
and with me?
i believe in solidarity but i think i really really felt it on a sustained level when i met the people i now call friends (more than friends, really, they’re my family here, my chosen family). i remeber i felt what it was like to know you were safe even when being shoved by riot police in oakland and crushed into a crowd of mostly strangers because the boy to my right and the girl to my left were people i trusted with my life.
and if them, then why not the rest of us who want the same thing too.
i want more than anything a politics of joy, a politics of love, a politics of taking care of one another. i want a politics of doing that here, now, right away, not by just going to a fucking voting booth and checking a box and hoping the person whose name we punched isn’t a goddamn liar or cheat and might actually provide something, someday.
i want too much, i demand the impossible, i want to feel it in my bones and i want it now.
with me it’s like falling in love.
the line in my head this morning, is from one of my favorite books: “Les Miserables”, and it goes something like “the collapsing of the universe into one person…this is love” but really maybe having loved once it allows you to love the whole universe too, if you let it. kinda like the morning after really great sex when you walk down the street smiling at strangers, just because you wish you could share that feeling with everyone, yes even if you’ve showered off the taste and feel of 420 legs wrapped around you, well i mean me. because all of it feels so good you just want to pass a little bit on to everyone.